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Peyton Manning @ ESPYS

Peyton Manning Opening Monologue at ESPYS 2017

i got a chuckle from this… i mean, who knew that peyton manning could be so funny?

#chuckle

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Sports

Caps Lose, Yet Again

Scott Van Pelt, ‘sick and freaking tired’ of Caps’ playoff routine, speaks for every fan

There will be a lot of people saying the same thing in different words this week. A lot of people saying things they’ve said before. A lot of people running out of things to say. That started Wednesday night — after the Caps lost yet another Game 7, and yet another time to Pittsburgh, and yet another time in the second round — and it will continue for at least a few more days. I probably was supposed to put my own slant on it, but I stared at a blank screen for a while and then left Verizon Center. I’ve done some version of this story so many times, and I didn’t have another way to do it.

I even interviewed fans for the piece I never did.

“Every year it’s the same [expletive] story,” said Will Brower.

“What a tragedy,” said my friend Bill Keefe. “How many years? This has been really overdone.”

“Worst night ever to be a Washington sports fan,” said Richard Strauss [really]. “It’s so sad. It’s really a sad night. It hurt. It hurt. It’s tough to be so entirely attached and at the same time so emotionally drained.”

“The curse remains,” said Reza Khadiri.

yup, the curse continues… seriously though, i’ve lived here (virginia) for the past 20 years or so, and have never seen any of the sports teams win anything… Wizards? nope… Nationals? yeah right… Redskins? can’t even muster up the words… and the fucking Caps? cursed.

was really disappointed last night, mang.

fucking hell.

fuck the penguins.

fuck the caps.

fuck dc.

fuck it.

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Sports

F*ck The Penguins

NHL Playoffs: Capitals suffocate Penguins with defense, force Game 7

In the past two games, the Pittsburgh Penguins have had the Washington Capitals on the brink of elimination from the Stanley Cup playoffs.

And in both those games, the Capitals have stepped up and stood out, keeping their ever-elusive title hopes alive.

The biggest reasons after a 5-2 rout in Game 6 in Pittsburgh?

Defense, defense and defense.

oh man, i’m finding it really hard not to root for the Caps here… feel like we’ve been down this road soooooo many times, only to come up short time and time again.

game 7 is tomorrow night, can’t wait… already feel like i’m on pins and needles a bit here just thinking about it… c’mon caps, don’t let us down!

#GoCaps!!!

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Sports

Broncos Sign Jamaal Charles

Jamaal Charles: “I always wanted to play for Denver. Growing up, John Elway was one of my favorite players.”

oh man, oh man… to say i was surprised when i saw the news/tweets about this would be an udnerstatement… wow, that first game between the Broncos and Chiefs is gonna be pretty crazy.

PS. our game schedule this coming year is kinda brutal.

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Political Sports

Kaerpernick Will Stand

Colin Kaerpernick Will Stand For Anthem

Who could sleep this NFL offseason wondering as to how Colin Kaerpernick would treat the pre-game national anthem in the future. Rest easy, buttercup. Kaepernick through his new agents has let it be known he will be standing for future renditions of the Star Spangled Banner.

This may or may not have something to do with Kaepernick declaring his free agency from the Niners and looking to thirty-one other teams for his next job. It’s fun to play pretend. Let me see, your starting level QB skills are questionable and people who consume our league’s official beverage detest your BLM kneeling bit. Pass. Where’s that gay defensive end who couldn’t get around NFL caliber O-linemen? We need a cover.

Kaepernick wants to ensure that the progress brought about by his season of kneeling is not lost with his decision to stop kneeling in order to get paid. Your legacy seems intact. What was it you did again? Oh, yeah. Trump.

At some point rational people who no longer exist will decide that it’s particularly unnecessary to perform a splashy anthem before every sporting event. Not every old tradition is outdated. This one is. It went the way of internationalizing professional sports leagues and multibillion dollar TV contracts and Commissioners sweeping domestic violence and PED use under the rug.

We don’t insist on the national anthem performance before any other recreational or entertainment events. Usually a simple reminder to turn off your cellphones suffices. The mechanized musical protocol before games provides no patriotic distinction and now has become an opportunity for attention seekers to provide for the exact opposite. With the national anthem, Kaepernick is a civil rights icon, without the national anthem, a dude with a wicked fro holding a clipboard on the sidelines. Bring back dogs catching frisbees.

i remember hearing some “rumor” awhile ago about Kaerpernick maybe going or looking to go to the Broncos, and i wasn’t all that happy to hear about that… personally, i’d hate to see that guy kneeling on the sidelines wearing broncos orange… fuck that… then again, i just read something about Elway and Romo working out some deal — g’damnit, really?!??

#mumble  #sigh

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Sports

$1,000 For Tom Brady Autograph

Tom Brady is signing autographs for $1,000, so crack open that college fund

For a certain slice of the country, love of Tom Brady supersedes love for one’s own children, love for food, love for oxygen. And now, Brady and a memorabilia dealer are putting a price on that love.

TriStar Memorabilia is hosting a private signing for Brady, and as long as you’ve got the coin, you get the benefits. How much coin, you ask? Well, grab your wallets, because even reading this list will cost you twenty bucks:

  • Signed 8×10 photo: $849
  • Signed mini-helmet: $899
  • Signed football: $999
  • Signed helmet: $1,099
  • Signed jersey: $1,199

Oh, but that’s not all! Want to get Brady to write something special on your thousand-dollar football? He’ll do it! “5x Super Bowl Champ” will cost you $399. “4x Super Bowl MVP” is a relative bargain at $299. “16-0, 07,” for those Patriots fans still in denial, is also $299. (Only one inscription per item, moneybags.) And if you want Brady to inscribe something personal, why, that’s $499, but twenty characters only! “I will my fortune to [NAME]” presumably won’t fly, but maybe “The Falcons deserved to win” would. Who knows? Give it a try!

wonder where the money is going, though? i mean, if he’s doing it and the proceeds are all going to his favorite charity then that’s cool… but if he’s got over $100 million in the bank and he’s keeping it? ummmm, yeah… not so cool, dude.

#hmmmmmm

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Humor/Funny Sports

Brady Trolls Roger Goodell

Tom Brady trolls Roger Goodell with pre-taped ‘Roger that’ Super Bowl commercial

one of the guys at work was just talking about this funny brady commercial, and i had to google it… and oh man, that really is pretty damn funny.

“…roger that.”

#chuckle

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Sports

Patriots Win In Greatest Super Bowl Comeback Of All Time

Greatest Super Bowl Win Leaves No Doubt: Tom Brady Is the Best Ever

HOUSTON — It was over. You thought it. The Falcons thought it. Everyone on Earth thought it.

But we all forgot, in that moment, something vital. The Patriots had the best quarterback to ever play the game. They may have had the best athlete in American sports history. They had Tom Damn Brady.

What else can you say? What words can you use? How do you keep describing what he does? How many times can your eyes pop out of your head?

“I’m numb and I can barely talk,” said tight end Martellus Bennett.

“He is amazing, the most amazing player I’ll ever see or play with,” said receiver Chris Hogan.

“There’s nothing you can really say,” said a stunned Matt Ryan.

“I’m at a loss for words,” said Julian Edelman.

We all are. The only thing that can leave social media, players and Roger Goodell speechless is Tom Damn Brady. Not Lady Gaga.

Pats 34, Choking Birds 28, in overtime, Super Bowl 51.

GOAT quarterbacks: only one.

i’m still kind of in shock… i mean, i was there watching the game and thought the game was pretty much over at half-time… then halfway into the 3rd quarter, with the score 28-3, i thought for sure it was over and more surprised at the fact that it wasn’t a better game at that point — just seemed like the Patriots didn’t really look, or were playing, like the patriots we’ve seen all season long y’know?

then some crazy shit started to happen, and next thing i know the patriots are playing… getting sacks… finally catching some balls… and pushing some touchdowns into the endzone.

wow.

it’s either the greatest Super Bowl of all time, or the worst — depending on which team you were root’n for… again, i’m still seems surreal to me… i mean… wow, just wow.

more news…

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Sports

Falcons vs. Patriots

well, the Super Bowl is finally upon us this coming sunday… and if you have any interest in the game, either the Patriots or Falcons, or just sports in general — i’m sure you’ve had quite a few conversations about this one in the past week or two, and are probably all ready-n-set for kickoff… so who are you pull’n for in Super Bowl LI?

since i’m not really a fan of either team, i’ll be rooting for the Falcons in this one… i’ll have my fingers crossed and hope for the best for ’em, even though i think the Patriots will probably end up winning the damn thing.

ugh.

if nothing else, i just hope for a good game… with good company… and good beer :)

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Sports

Super Bowl 51

Super Bowl 51: Matt Ryan’s Falcons vs. Tom Brady’s Pats

ATLANTA — To appreciate the magnitude of what we saw Sunday in the last football game ever at the Georgia Dome, we must consider what was happening in this city the April day Matt Ryan was drafted in 2008.

I was in Atlanta that weekend. Michael Vick was not. He was in federal prison in Kansas, serving nearly two years for dogfighting and animal cruelty. But the city not only hadn’t forgotten him; many in the city were keeping his seat warm and wanted him as their quarterback when he finished doing his time. I remember the day before the draft walking through a mall and thinking, All these people with Vick jerseys or T-shirts supporting him … amazing. So when Ryan got picked third overall by new GM Thomas Dimitroff, it was a new start. But some locals seemed unmoved.

An Atlanta TV sports anchor, Gil Tyree, told me on draft day 2008 that Vick “is a messiah here. … No matter what Matt Ryan will do, he’ll never be accepted.”

Yikes.

Now to Sunday, and the 44-21 beatdown of the Packers in the NFC Championship Game, leading to the second Super Bowl appearance for the Falcons in their history. As Ryan compiled a four-touchdown, 392-yard game in the biggest game of his nine-year career, three times the crowd in the Dome rained down chants of “M-V-P! M-V-P! M-V-P!” Six straight games without an interception … Heavy favorite to win the NFL MVP on Feb. 4 … Crowd screaming for him as he left the field like New York screamed for the Beatles in 1964.

oh man, where to start? i was sooooo excited, all week long i’ve been really looking forward to the championship games, thinking that it would be the best damn football games we’ve seen all year long with some serious matchups… i really didn’t see the Packers coming out like that and getting their collective asses handed to them by the Falcons — i mean, wow.

as for the Patriots/Steelers game, i figured that the Patriots would probably win that one, but i still thought that at least it would be a game… that the Steelers would be competitive, especially in the lead up with the “killer b’s” and all that.

pretty disappointing.

i’m totally root’n for the Falcons in the Super Bowl.

p.s. maybe they should rename it the “Patriots Bowl”?

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Online/Web Sports

Ciara Didn’t F*ck Russell

Ciara Super Happy She Didn’t Fuck Russell Wilson Before Marriage

Ciara reflected on her up to a few months of sacred celibacy with Russell Wilson while he immersed himself in conversion therapy and wished upon every star in the sky. Known for relationships with 50 Cent, Bow Wow, Amar’e Stoudemire, and Future, the latter confirmed with a baby out of wedlock, Ciara found simple grace in her gay fiancee refusing to have sex with her before their wedding night.

“I really believe that when you focus on a friendship, you have the opportunity to build a strong foundation for a relationship — and once you know you’re really great friends and you’re what we call ‘equally yoked,’ where you share the same values or the same outlook on life, it kind of sets the tone. Knowing that you’ll always have the friendship and that you can always go back to it is very important, and very powerful. I have to give credit to my husband for sharing those views. It’s awesome how it all worked out.”

So, say, have you gone back to the friendship only thing then already? Ciara is currently pregnant which speaks of Russell Wilson maybe stepping up to the plate twice or thrice. Ciara openly bragged about their post-wedding weekend of nonstop sexual activity while Wilson stood off to the side like Barron Trump staring at the ceiling and waiting for it all to be over.

It’s not unusual for a woman to come up with the notion that sex prevents real connection in a relationship. It’s more unusual when it’s the guy’s idea and he has all the pamphlets and Internet research studies printed out and on the dining room table. To each their own. They look reasonably happy. Future is circling the block. One or both. He charges the same.

personally, i’m happy for Russell and everything i’ve seen and heard about him is that he’s actually a really great guy — he pays a visit to a local children’s cancer ward every single week, for cry’n out loud! dunno what this “gay” talk is about, or even if that’s some stupid internet rumor about him… but whatever… i will say that this Ciara chick never really struck me as a super awesome lady, but i really have no idea what she’s like in person… guess she always kinda gave off a skanky vibe… does have nice tits though ;)

p.s. i still hate the fucking seahawks, though.

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Sports

Tony Romo @ Broncos?

Tony Romo still wants to play for the Denver Broncos but they are not interested

The Dallas Cowboys’ “No. 1 priority this offseason” is going to be trading Tony Romo, according to Ian Rapoport of the NFL Network, however, that may not be as easy as originally thought.

With the emergence of Dak Prescott this season, speculation began on where Romo would play next season, if he decides to play at all.

In November, Rapoport reported that if Romo does not retire, his top choice would be a trade to the Denver Broncos. However, that now looks like it won’t happen.

“It’s no secret, his No. 1 spot would be the Denver Broncos,” Rapoport said Sunday on the NFL Network. “But from what I understand, that is not something the Broncos would be inclined to do.”

Romo still has three years and $54 million left on his contract. He is also scheduled to take up $24-25 million of space against the salary cap in each of those seasons. Any team that does trade for Romo would almost certainly want to renegotiate his contract.

as soon as Romo became the backup in dallas, rumors started to fly around about him and where me might go after this season — and the first one on the list was the Broncos… which made some sense, being that we took Peyton Manning when most people thought his days were over… and that turned out pretty damn well for us.

personally, i don’t think we should take a chance on Tony Romo… sure, he’s a good quarterback when he’s healthy, but that’s the rub isn’t it? he’s 37 years old and has had 3 back surgeries…

FWIW, i think he should retire.

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Sports

Jadeveon Clowney Is HUGE!!!

Jadeveon Clowney makes NFL Countdown crew look hilariously small

Houston Texans defensive end Jadeveon Clowney had a key interception that led to a touchdown in the Texans’ win against the Raiders in the wild card game on Saturday. Afterwards, he talked to ESPN’s NFL Countdown crew. The screenshots are hilarious.

Clowney is 6-foot-5 and 270 pounds (according to NFL.com) — look how tiny he makes the rest of the guys appear.

crazy just how big some of these guys are, it’s almost unreal… watching football on tv, you just can’t really appreciate how huge these monsters are — and the other guys in these screenshots aren’t exactly short dudes, either!

g’damn.

speaking of football, lots of good games this weekend… though it went pretty much as i expected, though i was hoping for a better game from the Lions to be honest.

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Sports

Clemson Gets Super Friendly

What the heck is this Clemson player grabbing for here?

In the game’s second quarter, Ohio State H-back Curtis Samuel found himself wrapped up between a trio of Clemson defenders. The play was long over, but Wilkins (No. 42 in orange) did some digging with his right hand.

Wilkins’ right hand first comes to rest on Samuel’s rear end. That could be considered, if viewed in good faith, merely a move by Wilkins to keep his balance. But then Wilkins moves his hand and starts to burrow it between the backs of Samuel’s thighs, presumably really close to Samuel’s genitals. It looks quite painful for Samuels.

i almost fell outta my chair laughing when one of my buddies hit me with this link… holy shit, man! not only does he grab his ass, but then goes in for a fucking reach around! wow.

#wtf  #lmao

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Sports

Colts Embarrass Jets

What we learned: Colts embarrass Jets in blowout win…

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — In quite possibly the most embarrassing performance of the Todd Bowles era, the Jets were pounded, 41-10 by the now tied-for-first-place Indianapolis Colts on Monday Night Football.

Here’s what we learned…

1. We’ll get to the Colts in a second. They were fantastic, mechanical and ruthless against the Jets on Monday. That being said, the effort on behalf of the home team was historically bad. Bowles tried multiple times to light a fire under his high-priced defense, only to watch them get torched again and again en route to being officially eliminated from postseason contention. Colt tight end Dwayne Allen scored three touchdowns, the last of which came when he wasn’t the most open receiver on the field. It seemed like Andrew Luck was just trying to prove a point. Colts players were giggling in the huddle, which could be seen clear as day on nationally televised cameras with Luck trying to wrangle the troops for another half-speed scoring drive. Some Jets fans will say Welcome to 2016, but Monday’s display was something out of an FCS school vs. Alabama blooper reel. How can Bowles convince anyone he can motivate these players? Is this bad enough to reevaluate what many expected to be a boring, news-less offseason? Continue…

man, i couldn’t even finish watching that game last night… the Jets truly looked fucking terrible… thankfully, i was saved by Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.

p.s. Lady Gaga? seriously…?!

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Sports

Congrats Brady

Tom Brady wins NFL-record 201st game

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. — The 199th pick of the 2000 NFL draft now stands alone at No. 201.

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady became the NFL’s all-time winningest quarterback on Sunday following the team’s 26-10 triumph over the Los Angeles Rams at Gillette Stadium, breaking a tie with Peyton Manning to notch win No. 201.

“I’m grateful for all of my teammates and my coaches and for my family and friends,” Brady said. “There’s been a lot of great football over the years, so it’s always been about winning and I’ve been very fortunate to be on a lot of great teams. I just feel very grateful.”

The week before, Brady had broken a second-place tie with Brett Favre on the career wins list.

“Tom breaking the record, of course that’s what it is all about, winning games,” said coach Bill Belichick. “Thinking back to that first one, in 2001 against Indianapolis, that’s a lot of water under the bridge.”

despite being kinda sick (and jealous) about seeing these damn Patriots winning each and every year like they’ve somehow managed to do… not to mention all the scandals… at the end of the day, you have to give props and mad respect for Tom Brady — he really is one helluva quarterback, and without a doubt one of the best to ever play the game (so far)… that’s pretty undisputed in my book, and setting a new record with 201 wins as the starting quarterback is crazy.

so congrats to the GOAT!

Every win from Tom Brady in 201 seconds…

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Sports

Broncos OT Gamble, And We Lost

Broncos pay for OT gamble as Chiefs win on last-second field goal

DENVER – Gary Kubiak bet on his kicker and lost, and now the defending Super Bowl champion Denver Broncos find themselves with an uphill battle to make the postseason over the final five weeks of the season.

Kubiak called on kicker Brandon McManus to attempt a 62-yard field goal to try to win Sunday’s game against the Kansas City Chiefs in the final minutes of overtime. McManus’ right foot slammed into the grass and the line drive kick was low of the uprights. That left the Chiefs with a short field and plenty of time to set up Cairo Santos’ 34-yard game winner as time expired in overtime.

Santos’ kick, which bounced off the left upright before going in, gave the Chiefs a 30-27 win at Sports Authority Field at Mile High and keeps the Chiefs within one game of the AFC West-leading Oakland Raiders. The Chiefs return home with the trump card of already recording road wins against their two toughest division rivals before December.

“It’s a big win, and as the season goes on, they just get bigger and bigger,” Chiefs quarterback Alex Smith said.

yeah, that really sucked… actually, it was one helluva good game, with both the Chiefs and Broncos going at it — especially the defenses… i mean, wow… holy shit balls.

still not sure about the decision to kick that 62-yard fieldgoal in OT to try and win the game… even in denver, that’s one helluva kick.

ugh, whatever.

p.s. kinda all bummed out today, but hope everybody had a great thanksgiving weekend!

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Sports

Romo Eyeing Broncos?

Tony Romo eyeing the Broncos as a potential landing spot via trade

Tony Romo’s future in Dallas is uncertain. Given the emergence of Dak Prescott as the quarterback of the future, and the team’s overwhelming success with him under center, Romo may not have a place on the roster in 2017.

There are a handful of scenarios that could play out in the future. He could take a pay cut and remain in Dallas next season, he could retire, or he could be traded. Should the Cowboys opt to move Romo in a blockbuster deal, there’s reportedly one team in particular he’d target: The Broncos.

ummmm, yeah… great… so is the Bronco’s where quarterbacks go to retire from now?

i’m sure the Browns would LOVE to have him.

#heh

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Sports

Raiders Run Thru Broncos

Raiders run through Broncos, grab AFC West lead

The AFC West has a new leader. For the first time since 2010, the Oakland Raiders (7-2) defeated the Denver Broncos (6-3) in the Coliseum, 30-20, thanks to some dynamite pass protection and a heavy dose of Latavius Murray.

1. In a bout for AFC West supremacy, Oakland won the battles and subsequently won the war. The Raiders’ highly-touted offensive line stood firm against Denver’s championship pass rush and paved the way for a dominant night on the ground. Already one of the least-sacked quarterbacks, Derek Carr was taken down just twice and made smart, conservative passes inside the pocket.

When the Raiders’ O-line wasn’t frustrating Von Miller and Co., it was pummeling interior defensive lineman with powerful run blocking. Anchored by Latavius Murray, Oakland rushed for 223 yards, the most Denver’s front has allowed since Week 5 of 2012. Murray recorded three scores and rushed for 114 yards on 5.7 yards per carry after having not rushed for over 60 yards in a game all season. Of course, the back’s surprising night was facilitated by the dominance of the left side of Oakland’s line (Donald Penn, Kelechi Osemele, Rodney Hudson), through which Murray and speed demon Jalen Richard ran play after play. Regarded as a big-play, pass-heavy offense through the first half of the season, the Raiders offered a glimpse on Sunday at what might be to come: a physical, hard-nosed, balanced attack.

2. Denver’s defense lost this matchup by playing the worst kind of Raider football. The Broncos crippled themselves with drive-extending penalties all night, committing three holding and interference calls on Oakland’s final scoring drive. Without Aqib Talib and Kayvon Webster, Denver’s defensive backs were gasping for air and grasping at straws in the fourth quarter, worn down by the Raiders’ consistent run game and an insane time of possession advantage (41:28 to 18:32). The Broncos finished with 12 penalties for 104 yards on the night.

man, it was hard to watch that game last night… i’m not sure why the hell the started with running the ball out from the middle of the endzone on the first few drives, but that seems to just portend out it was gonna go last night… our defense wasn’t playing lights out like they normally do, the penalties were killing us — which is ironic, since the Raiders set a new NFL record last week with 23 penalties in a single game… ugh, wtf.

think my boys need to regroup, practice hard in full pads during the week, and get hungry again.

shit man.

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Sports

Holy F*cking Shit, The Cubs Win World Series!!!

Cubs ‘killed the curse’ with epic Game 7 victory in World Series

CLEVELAND — These young Chicago Cubs, most of them born in the 1990s, never did believe in curses, jinxes, spells or the gibberish that prevented their predecessors from winning a World Series.

Instead, they believe in omens.

And when the rain started coming down just before the start of the 10th inning, almost midnight Wednesday in Game 7 of the World Series, it was the most beautiful sight they’ve ever seen.

It was if the baseball Gods rescued them.

It saved the Cubs from their worst collapse in franchise history, and perhaps the most painful winter any of them would ever endure, into the most beautiful evening of their lives.

The Cubs, for the first time in 108 years, at precisely 12:47 a.m. ET, were crowned World Series champions, ending the longest drought in sports history.

“We killed the curse,’’ Cubs catcher Miguel Montero said. “It’s done. It’s over. I can’t believe it.

“Long live the curse!

“It’s finally dead!”

holy shit, almost can’t believe it…! to be honest, i wasn’t sure i’d ever see the Cubs win the world series in my lifetime… not even a Cubs fan, but i couldn’t help but pull for the guys.

pretty damn awesome.

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