Random Boners

What if women where horny all day long?

(hat tip: arno)

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Tax Freedom Day?

What Could You Accomplish in the 111 Days It Takes to Reach Tax Freedom Day?

American’s will spend 111 days working to pay off the combined $4.5 trillion federal, state, and local tax bill in 2014, according to the latest Tax Freedom Day report.

To offer some perspective on just how long 111 days really is, here are a few things you could accomplish in the time it takes the nation to reach Tax Freedom Day on April 21.

The average required qualifying time for the guaranteed entrance to the New York City Marathon is about 4 hours. At that pace, if you ran non-stop, 24/7, you could completed 666 races for a total of 17,462 miles.

A regular NFL season lasts 256 games, around 3 hours each, for a total of 768 hours of game time and commercials. You could watch the equivalent of every single game of more than three NFL seasons, including commercials, before reaching Tax Freedom Day. [...]

In 1969, the Apollo 11 mission took 3 days and 3 hours to reach the moon, and 8 days and 3 hours for the total round trip. At those rates, we could reach the moon 98 times or complete 13 Apollo 11 missions.

i almost completely forgot that today, april 15th, was tax day — probably because i filed back in the beginning of march, which feels like ages ago right now… then again, just like 70 million people around the country, today was just… tuesday… since they don’t pay federal income taxes from what i’ve read.

i never really thought about it like this, but thinking about how i work over 111 days a year to pay the government really kinda burrs my ass. unbelievable.

p.s. aside from the 442 proposed tax increases, obama paid 18.4% in taxes, which means he must have some exceptionally gifted tax attorneys working for him… which is totally “fair”, since he’s not in the top 1% or anything.

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Pic of the Day

almost forgot about titty tuesday, but then again i figure kate upton usually fits the bill… but what the hell, here’s a pic i just stumbled across.

not showing much in the funbag department, but she gets extra points for the t-shirt in my book.

#thumbsup

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Left or Right?

now that’s one sexy sandwich right there… candice and adriana.

#tasty

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3-Day Weekend, Every Week

A 3-Day Weekend…Every Weekend? This Company Makes It Happen

Everybody loves the relaxation and recharging that comes with a long, three-day weekend. One startup loves them enough to make it policy.

Treehouse–an online service for teaching web design, coding, and more–has flaunted a four-day workweek since launching in 2010. Treehouse does so with no strings attached. Workweeks range from Monday through Thursday, and each day is comprised of the typical eight hours. According to CEO and co-founder Ryan Carson, Treehouse has never done business on a Friday.

daaaaamn… they’ve never worked a friday? i don’t know about you guys, but that would be one helluva bennie as far as hiring goes… some stock options that usually amount to nothing? a 401K plan? sounds good, but throw in 3-day weekends every week and i’m sold.

#winning

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Hilarious Attendant

Flight Attendant Delivers Safety Talk That Leaves the Passengers in Stitches

i think we need more flight attendants like her.

(hat tip: erik)

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Smaller Tits For Kate Upton? Nooooo!

Kate Upton Wishes She Had Smaller Tits

what the hell is wrong with her? shit, she should be damned proud of her tits.

Kate Upton has a pair of magnificent chichis that look like two fat angels taking a long nap on pillows made of clouds and they’re a HUGE part of why she has millions of dollars, two Sports Illustrated covers, a Vogue cover and they’re the reason why the bed sheets of many teen boys are crusty and can stand up on their own.

yeah, exactly.

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Man vs. Food

Man Vs. Food Hailed As ‘Perfect Al-Qaeda Recruitment Film’

A TV show that features Americans filling their bodies with gigantic amounts of meat has been hailed as “the most effective Al-Qaeda recruitment film ever made”.

Man Vs. Food, which features a bellowing American host celebrating oversized portions of bland meat, has led to a massive spike in recruitment numbers for the global militant Islamist organisation.

“After watching only a few minutes of Man Vs. Food it’s hard not to think ‘Death to America!’ and start looking for the ‘contact us’ section of the Al-Qaeda website,” said terrorism expert Walter P. Fugue.

stupid shit like this just makes me wish (for the millionth time) that these militant islamic fucktards would just get over themselves… now they have a fatwa on giant cheeseburgers.

#gofigure

Thank You, Pittsburgh, For The Greatest Cake America Has Ever Made

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Thanks, US Airways

US Airways Just Tweeted Out One Of The Most Graphic Things You’ve Ever Seen A Brand Tweet

following this thread of tweets just kinda made my day…

i’m sure it was the @USAirways social guy’s last day, or maybe just his way of giving everybody a parting salute. *chuckle*

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iPhone 6 for $100 More?!

Apple Reportedly Negotiating with Carriers for $100 Price Increase on iPhone 6

Apple is negotiating with wireless carriers to raise the price of the iPhone 6 by $100, claims Jefferies analyst Peter Misek (Via StreetInsider). Carriers initially are refusing to negotiate on the iPhone’s $199 base price, but they may not be able to resist as the iPhone 6 is shaping up to be 2014′s blockbuster handset.

“The possibility may at first seem far-fetched in light of investor concerns regarding possible carrier subsidy and handset price cuts due to smartphone saturation and lack of differentiation,” Misek comments. “But we think this general lack of differentiation could be the reason why Apple may be able to get a price increase. Carriers realize that the iPhone 6 will likely be the only headline-worthy high-end phone launched this year and that they will lose subs if they do not offer it.”

Apple is expected to ship the iPhone 6 later this year, with rumors suggesting the phone will be available with a 4.7-inch touchscreen display at first. A larger 5.5-inch version may follow at the end of this year or early next year.

oh man, that’s not what i was hoping to hear! shit.

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Glassholes

Who Should Buy Google Glass?

For one day only, Google will put its futurewear optics on sale to the general public. On Tuesday, April 15 at 9am ET, Google will be “opening up some spots in the Glass Explorer Program,” allowing any U.S. resident to buy the before-its-time wearable computer known as Google Glass.

At $1500, the device’s early adopter tax remains as steep as ever, although this time around, Google will toss in a pair of its handsome new prescription-compatible frames or the original shades that shipped with the very first Glass kits a year ago (much to the chagrin of previous Glass buyers who only scored the awkward shades).

After sating the collective appetite of many early adopters, it’s not clear who out there still hasn’t had a shot at buying Glass. But for anyone still “waitlisted” the opportunity sounds like a direct ticket to Glasstown.

do you know anybody that actually wants to walk around wearing Google Glass? much less willing to drop $1,500 for a pair?!?

just reminds me of “glassholes”, a new term to me that i picked up from SXSW tweets this past year… got a chuckle when i first saw it, too.

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‘Range War’

Nevada Cattle Rancher Wins ‘Range War’ With Feds

A Nevada cattle rancher appears to have won his week-long battle with the federal government over a controversial cattle roundup that had led to the arrest of several protesters.

Cliven Bundy went head to head with the Bureau of Land Management over the removal of hundreds of his cattle from federal land, where the government said they were grazing illegally.

Bundy claims his herd of roughly 900 cattle have grazed on the land along the riverbed near Bunkerville, 80 miles northeast of Las Vegas, since 1870 and threatened a “range war” against the BLM on the Bundy Ranch website after one of his sons was arrested while protesting the removal of the cattle.

“I have no contract with the United States government,” Bundy said. “I was paying grazing fees for management and that’s what BLM was supposed to be, land managers and they were managing my ranch out of business, so I refused to pay.”

glad to hear that the rancher, Bundy, got the fed to back down — to be honest, i was pretty confused at the show of force by the cops… then later find out that the feds went and killed some of his cattle, and tazed his elderly aunt (WTF?!?).

i really think they just overstepped their bounds here.

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Monday Music

Sigur Rós – The Rains of Castamere

in celebration of joffrey finally meeting his demise last night on game of thrones, i figured this somehow seemed appropriate.

a somber melody, for sure.

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The Purple Wedding

‘Game of Thrones’ Gives Us the Best Wedding Gift Imaginable

those of us who’ve read the books have been looking forward to this one for awhile now, i’m sure… finally is right.

This is the episode we’ve all been waiting for, the great karmic reckoning for the countless sins of Joffrey Baratheon. Despite all the horrible things we’ve seen on this show, it doesn’t have as many true villains as you’d expect. Consider Jaime, a man who once tossed a 10-year-old child off a tower because he wanted to keep having sex with his sister, who has somehow transformed into a fan-favorite hero. Or Theon, the ward who betrayed Winterfell and put its people to the sword, and yet became easily the most pitiable character in the series. People might do terrible things in Game of Thrones but they usually have dimensions, reasons, and tragedies of their own behind it.

say goodbye to one of the most hated and detested characters on tv, as far as i know… a few minor differences from the books, from what i recall, but still pretty damn satisfying in a morbid kinda way.

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Break My Window

this is what happens to morons who park in front of water hydrants…

can’t help but feel a little bad about the car… at the same time, the owner of that beemer should know better.

#dumbass

(hat tip: anna)

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